Stardust

Stardust

Here's a movie that knows exactly what it is. It's cheesy and silly, but it's also full-on fantasy, with plenty of adventure and romance to go around. There's nothing particularly mind-blowing happening here, but it plays the fantasy tropes to their full tropiness.

For whatever reason I thought this was my first Neil Gaiman movie, but it turns out that Coraline is his book, he wrote the screenplay for Beowulf, and he adapted the English dialogue for Princess Mononoke. Gaiman is a bit of a nerd god, and while he does a wide variety of different genres and mediums, there seems to be a shared dose of whimsy between all of them, even when they're particularly dark. Stardust is definitely a light entry in Gaiman's canon, all fun and no sad. The dialogue is forgettable, since it's mainly expository and none of the characters have a very unique voice, but the different plots are fun to follow and watching the stories all meet and dovetail at the end like a Seinfeld episode is pretty satisfying. It's not brilliant, but it's thoroughly entertaining.

The cast is a wonderful mix of great old and new British actors and comedians. Charlie Cox, Ian McKellen, Peter O'Toole, Mark Strong, Mark Heap, David Walliams, Adam Buxton, Ricky Gervais, Sienna Miller, and Henry Cavill all show up at one point or another, and Claire Danes, Robert DeNiro, and Michelle Pfeiffer are the token American stars. No one really does any big stretches in terms of acting, they all just seem to be having a good time, and that's perfectly acceptable in a movie like this.

The sets and the costumes are all lavish, creative, and fun. The cinematography itself is fairly standard, but the production design clearly had a lot of effort put into it. From richly detailed palaces to a simple hedge, every location is at least somewhat memorable and pleasing to the eye.

Overall this is a fun, breezy movie that's great for a date night or just a fun evening with a group of fantasy fans. Think of it like a modern Princess Bride. Maybe not as memorable or funny, but just as entertaining and genuine.

Gates of Heaven

Gates of Heaven

Errol Morris is an endlessly fascinating documentary filmmaker. From bizarre town pieces like Vernon, Florida to films that actually change lives like The Thin Blue Line, Morris loves focusing on the bizarre nature of humanity above anything else.

All about pet cemeteries and the people who are connected to them, Gates of Heaven is one of Roger Ebert's top 10 favorite films of all time, and he has some very deep thoughts on it that one should definitely look up and read. This is only my first time watching it, so these are just my initial reactions. I'd love to watch it again to get more out of it than I did this first time, because after reading Ebert's thoughts I feel like I missed out on what makes this film great.

What's great about this movie (as is the case with any Morris film) is that it's done in such an objective way that it would be very easy to see people thinking this is hilarious and ridiculous or genuinely sweet and relatable. There's no feeling of judgement or taunting, though he is recording what these specific people had to say and distributing it for the public and probably knew full-well how audiences would react.

What Ebert took from this film (and why I need to watch it again a bit more carefully) are the thoughts these Northern Californians have on death. These people aren't philosophers, and some of them don't even seem completely stable, but there's a simple beauty to how they discuss mortality through these dead pets that's so honest and eye-opening it's hard not to be pulled in by what they have to say.

Whether you're watching it to laugh or to learn more about death or both, there's something that everyone can takeaway from this wonderfully strange documentary. Just be warned that the film is entirely made up of interviews, so if you don't want to hear people talk for an hour and a half then this is not for you. Otherwise, enjoy!

Annihilation

Annihilation

Starting with big-budget sci-fi screenplays like 28 Days Later... and Dredd, then making his directorial debut with the much smarter and classier Ex Machina, it feels like Annihilation is screenwriter/director Alex Garland finally getting to make what he's always wanted to make: smart, heady, adult sci-fi that's not exactly "marketable."

Going straight to Netflix for every country in the world except for the US, this film was somewhat doomed to fail in the box office because there's simply no way to properly advertise it. It's hard sci-fi with elements of drama and horror, it's based on a novel as opposed to a comic book or any other movie franchise, and the star is Natalie Portman, who (by no fault of her own) often ends up in terrible movies. It also doesn't treat it's audience like it's stupid, which has become a norm in mainstream films. It's emotions are genuine, it's symbolism is subtle, and there are no clear answers for any of its mysteries. It's great, but most people aren't gonna like it.

It's best that I don't describe any of the elements of the actual film because going in blind made this a very unique experience for me. The only thing I did know was that it was an all-female cast, but that's only because I looked at the poster and saw that was the case. They never pat themselves on the back or pander to the audience about how amazing they are for casting women in their film; they just did it. And not only is the central cast all women, they're all scientists. And not only are they all scientists, they're all actually interesting and distinct characters. What a concept.

I'm not gonna say anything else about the movie, but if you're into smart sci-fi that'll really make you think, you should check this one out.

Dirty Dancing

Dirty Dancing

Some movies become so ingrained in popular culture that it's hard for the whole thing to live up to its more iconic moments. The Seven Year Itch has that part where Marilyn Monroe's dress flies up, but literally everything else about it is terrible. The Jazz Singer famously brought sound to film, but it's also an hour and a half of Al Jolson doing blackface. Dirty Dancing famously has "Nobody puts baby in the corner" and "Time of My Life," but the rest is actually pretty surprising.

The story itself is typical. A rich girl has to learn how to dance before a big recital because the boy she's in love with is a dancer and his usual partner can't do the dance because she's getting an abortion. Oh, yeah, abortion plays a huge part in this movie. It's pretty shocking considering the film was made in the 80's and is pretty much only known as "that Patrick Swayze dance movie," but it doesn't get too graphic or depressing when dealing with the subject. It's all pretty clinical and never feels judgmental. Other than that it's the typical training sequences and falling in love and parents disapproving and someone getting caught lying and the couple having a falling out but then getting back together again, and so on and so forth. Even though it burns through a lot of cliches, it does so in a well-paced and entertaining way. I never felt bored.

A lot of the entertainment comes from the chemistry between Grey and Swayze. This is a very sexy movie, with lots of sexy dancing and sexy moments between sexy people. The dancing truly does live up to its dirty title. While Swayze is initially unlikable and Grey is initially awkward, they help each other grow into more interesting and fun characters through their tension-filled interactions. Swayze has a gruff charm and Grey an earnest likability, which makes them a very enticing onscreen couple.

There are more memorable sequences in this film besides the famous line and the famous song. In fact, it's been a week or so since I watched the movie and I still remember almost all of it. Each training scene is put in a memorable location (like on a log or on the floor), every character is distinct whether it be in an good or a bad way, and the song choices are all right on the money. When Grey enters that undoubtedly sweaty room to see everyone her age bumping and grinding to "Do You Love Me (Now That I Can Dance)" by The Contours, it's kind of a perfect moment. Same can be said for the "Lover Boy" and "Time of My Life" sequences. While the whole film takes place in one location (a recreational resort in the Catskills), they find ways to make each scene stand out in one way or another. It's impressive.

If you love dancing (especially sexy dancing) or romance (especially sexy romance), you'll have a fun sexy time watching this fun sexy movie that you won't soon fun sexy forget.

An American Tail

An American Tail

I have a vague memory of seeing this on Cartoon Network when I was very young, but I more than likely didn't finish it and had completely forgotten about it since then. So all I really knew going in was that it's an immigrant's story as told through mice, and also the "Somewhere Out There" sequence in that one episode of Community.

This is another one that I don't have a lot of thoughts on, it's just a fun journey with plenty of thrilling and intense moments that kids love because they can handle a lot more than modern studio executives think they can. Fievel is adorable and empathetic, feeling like a real curious kid that makes mistakes like any kid inevitably does. The characters he meets along the way range from being charming to annoying, but none of them are unbearable and they all serve some kind of purpose.

The visuals are incredibly impressive, especially considering this was made on half the budget of a standard Disney animated film at the time. The animation is rough but gorgeous, the backgrounds range from simple and abstract to detailed and breath-taking, and the perspective creates a larger than life quality that was unique to many of the Spielberg-produced films of the 1980's.

It's certainly not perfect. Some of the songs feel a bit rushed and there's a few too many cheesy moments (sorry), but what shines through is the genuine heart and the clear passion that went into making the project. Don Bluth is notoriously hit-and-miss as an artist, but this is the best example of his more accessible work (with Secret of NIMH being my personal favorite), and I think it was his partnership with Spielberg that helped make the whole thing possible.

Can it be too cutesy and corny? Absolutely. Do I still have "There are No Cats in America" in my head? Indeed I do. Is it worth checking out, especially for kids? Of course it is.

9 to 5

9 to 5

Nearly 40 years ago there was a movie whose plot was entirely about sexual harassment in the workplace that somehow also manages to be charming, fun, and downright zany.

I honestly don't have a whole lot to say about this one, it's all pretty straightforward. The plot is simple, and (perhaps to fill in time) there's all sorts of fun fantasy sequences and wacky hijinks (sometimes involving a dead body) throughout. The cast is clearly having a ball; comedienne Lily Tomlin and Jane "Barbarella" Fonda were both seasoned actresses by the time this movie was being made, and while Dolly Parton had never acted before, she's immediately magnetic and likable. Dabney Coleman is great as their terrible boss, and it's a lot of fun to see him play in the different genre-style fantasy sequences. It's a cute, harmless bit of wacky fun that also happens to tackle one of the most real issues that still occurs today.

For whatever reason no one's bothered to remake 9 to 5, and if any movie would benefit from an edgy, Horrible Bosses-esque remake, I feel like this is the one. There are plenty of strong modern comedic actresses that could fit these roles, and it could get a lot more detailed on what constitutes as sexual harassment in the workplace, as well as going even farther and zanier with the antics. It has every bit of potential to be terrible as it does great, but I think if there's a screenwriter that can find the right tone it could be a hit.

While it doesn't leave a huge impression, it's still a good time and I think anyone can enjoy it. Check it out if you're looking for some light fun, or if you're a solid comedic screenwriter who wants to tackle a remake of it.

1941

1941

I don't talk about Steven Spielberg very often, but he's actually the first director I ever loved. I did a project on him in 6th grade, which included dressing up like him (socks with sandals and all) for the presentation portion of said project. Ever since I was 12, working on that project, I've been meaning to see Spielberg's 1941.

It's Spielberg's fourth feature film, right after the monster hits of Jaws and Close Encounters of the Third Kind. He admitted that 1941 was the product of arrogance after having those two hits, so he was looking to do something completely different and landed on doing a giant-budget WWII comedy.

Every critic at the time had the same complaints: there's way too many things going on in every scene, the running time is way too long, and though there's constant hijinks and gags, none of them are actually funny. They nailed it. While all of the destruction is impressive in both scope and quantity, I genuinely laughed maybe twice throughout the entire two and a half hour run time.

Spielberg's not a comedian, and though the screenplay was written by Robert Zemeckis and Bob Gale, who at the time had only done comedy films, it still isn't terribly shocking to me that Spielberg didn't churn out a brilliantly funny comedy film. However, there's some things in this movie that simply rub me the wrong way. They constantly use racial slurs for Japanese people, which may be accurate to the time, but is still deeply unpleasant to hear, especially at the rate that they use it. At one point John Candy does blackface in a "mutual" way with a black solider who has white powder on his face, which is still obviously terrible and way past the time of there being any kind of excuse for it. While I believe those issues are justified, my more arbitrary complaint is that I just don't like John Belushi. I've never found him funny or likable, and while knowing how difficult he was in real life certainly doesn't help, I've always felt like his real life scumminess reeks off of his performances.

The cast is huge and impressive, though not always memorable. John Candy barely utters a word, Dan Aykroyd plays a typical soldier, and Christopher Lee is nearly unrecognizable as a Nazi officer. Some of the performances are solid though. Slim Pickens is a lot of fun as always, and the legendary Toshiro Mifune clearly took this job very seriously because he gives it his all. Ned Beatty is also fun as a father who goes insane after a giant military weapon is parked on his front lawn.

Almost all of the gags are bizarre and feel a bit forced, but the moment I found completely insane was the very beginning where Spielberg literally parodies himself with a Jaws-periscope gag. I don't know why, but this completely blew my mind. I can't think of another director who directly spoofed their own work. Sure, there's the fence gags in each of Edgar Wright's Cornetto Trilogy or Wes Craven's New Nightmare, but 1941 is a completely separate film from Jaws and yet this is the very first scene of the movie. I still can't get over it.

1941 is on Bill Hader's list of the 200 movies that every comedy writer should watch, which I understand since it achieved a cult status with his generation, but I would also say it's a decent lesson in what doesn't work in comedy. Having constant gags doesn't automatically make a comedy good, because all of those gags still have to actually be funny.

If you're a huge Spielberg fan and want to see all of his movies you have no choice but to see this, but for anyone else I'd say it's one you can skip.